A favorite Steve Martin quote:
The first approach is an outward focus. It would mean driving a company by surveys or charting career decisions based on the highest paying jobs or the personalities of your superiors. If you try to shape yourself based on what people are asking for, you will interpret failure as a misreading of what they were asking for. You'll redouble your efforts to survey more accurately.
The second approach is an inward focus. It is liberating, because it means assessing your core strengths and interests and playing to those. It means creating a demand for yourself instead of molding yourself to existing (and potentially misguided) demands. If you're not immediately accepted using this approach you will respond by getting better instead of complaining that people just don't see your potential or that the situation isn't fair.
Respond to failure by getting better not bitter.